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"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'According to our diagnostic computer, your car wants to have $800 spent on it.'

Cat wash.

'It seats two comfortably.'

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

'Are we there yet?'

His attitude is 'if it ain't broke, fix it anyway'.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'Suddenly it was apparent where Jack was headed.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

The insurance company says we can't insure the car till we scrape the Ralph Nader sticker off.

'If you drive it like they do in the advertisements, you void the warranty.'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment.. so it kind of evens out."

TS Motors Inc.

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

"This is a terrible table!"

Car carrier trailer doubles as school bus.

Having not studied for any of the road tests, resulting in terrible road marks, and a very low grade, it was inevitable that the brakes would fail.

"The new 4x4x4x4x4."

'Hey, Earl, do we stock the rear end for a '57 Caucasan?'

'I'd like the inside cleaned please.' - 'Leave the windows open.'

"At first, I thought it was gunfire."

Clowns working to repair clown car on roadside.

'Officer Root will never believe the car was stolen. He knows we have four teenagers'

'Try it now.'

'I don't like being a crash test dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'And this one has a digital readout to tell you 'how-much' the car is depreciating!'

Ooo, look who got a hybrid.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Trouble is that once you are old enough to afford one of these you're too old to get in and out of it!'

Autos. We can't keep these beauties on the lot! They sell that fast? No, they have defective parking brakes. Consumer Info.