Suv Enthusiast Gifts

'Ugh! It's the skool run'

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

Humvee stroller

'Goddam Range Rovers churning up the countryside,'

"Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the gas prices. . ."

Small SUV loan.

Getting The Attention Of The American Motorist.

'She's a beauty all right, and as soon as I find a second job to pay for the gas we'll take her for a spin!'

Typical 'Faux pas Four'.

'I'm looking for something that says 'luxury'... but most of all... 'get out of the way!''

"Stop green-shaming me."

'Uh oh, they all have 6,000 pound cars now.'

SUV fillup.

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

My Dad's SUV guzzles less gas than your dad's SUV!'

'I'll never regret buying a Sports Utility Vehicle.'

'It's an IQ test for the driver.'

My dad's is tiny. You wish. I heard your dad's is huge. Your dad's is big as a smokestack. My dad's is way smaller than your dad's. My dad's is infinitely small. And if you don't admit it, I'm going to tell everyone at school about your dad's SUV. Hey! Stop it! Do I even want to know what you two are arguing about? Size of carbon footprint. My dad's is a zillion times smaller. Oh brother. Your dad caused global warming.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Coexist. Coexhaust.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'It seats two comfortably.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Mohammad's motors

It's great for pulling the birds!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."