Uv Aficionado T-Shirts

'We have every artificial tanning method under the sun.'

Television Readers.

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Vlad the Inhaler

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Mine's still in bed."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

100 best beheadings

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Twister:Rural Social Networking

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"He's an indoor cat."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Couch and Potato

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"