Utility Wear Gifts

Utility Chic.

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Neversource"

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

I love my cape

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

Gas Bill

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Low Tech Power Failure System Protection.

A Utility Knife.

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

New migrating patterns may result in some interruption of services.

Call before you dig!

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

Swiss army knife with little swiss army knife attachment.

"Did you get any Valentines day cards?"

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

"What a beautiful day."

'Hello George old boy! I wonder if you and Margaret would be interested in buying your gas and electricity from us?' - (Power Station in garden)

Gas, water, and electricity being brought to a house through hoses.

"You know damn well that E-on wrote to us months ago, and what did you do? Precisely nothing!"

Swimmers sewage warning

The Blue Collar/White Collar Answer

'Now let's try with the lining.'

"John Stuart Mill taught that the happiness of the individual is paramount. He didn't name names, but I suspect that you and I are the sort of individual he had in mind."