Utilities Awareness Gifts

'I know it's a constant drain of electricity, but I rationalize that it also functions as a night light.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Neversource"

Gullib-Os

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

CATCHY NAME

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

Gas Bill

'How can our light bill be so big? We see in the dark.'

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Low Tech Power Failure System Protection.

Energy Bills

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Same old fossil fuel dependency: 'Drill, baby, drill!'

A Utility Knife.

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

New migrating patterns may result in some interruption of services.

Duel Fuel?

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

Call before you dig!

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"Did you get any Valentines day cards?"