Utilities Management Gifts

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Neversource"

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

Electricity Bills

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

Energy Bills

"Raw sewage is so much easier to source these days."

Low Tech Power Failure System Protection.

A Utility Knife.

"I think our solar panels are drawing in too much energy. I just plugged in my hair dryer, and I swear the sun dimmed."

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

New migrating patterns may result in some interruption of services.

Duel Fuel?

Call before you dig!

A genetically bred super spider that spins utility lines.

"Did you get any Valentines day cards?"

Did you see that documentary on prairie dogs last night?

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'We're pleased to announce we're doing a government study to find out just who regulates the electric industry.'

The World wasting water.

'The instruments are suggesting that the heat pump is receiving a temperature of 105...what could possibly be heating the ground that much?'

"What a beautiful day."

'Hello George old boy! I wonder if you and Margaret would be interested in buying your gas and electricity from us?' - (Power Station in garden)

"It's either a cannabis farm or they're heavily into AI!"

"I'm working on becoming less efficient so as to use more energy and avoid gym fees."

Swimmers sewage warning