Utilities Gifts

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'At last! An energy bill we can understand.'

In a grave yard one tombstone says, 'Buried Cable.'

'Hello George old boy! I wonder if you and Margaret would be interested in buying your gas and electricity from us?' - (Power Station in garden)

Gas, water, and electricity being brought to a house through hoses.

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

A Utility Knife.

'Hello? Electric company?'

Disaster strikes Water Treatment Plants minutes after four networks simultaneously showed three hour movies without commercial interruptions.

"You know damn well that E-on wrote to us months ago, and what did you do? Precisely nothing!"

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

"Thank you for ringing your energy company. Please leave a message after the laughter..."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"Neversource"

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

The Earth as a habitat being poisoned by pollution (symbolised by car exhaust fumes)

A Kangermoo

"To toast!"

The Guy Who Was Hooked Up To The Wrong Machines

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Pumping up wig in blender.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.