Utilities Manager Gifts

Thames Water.

"I think it's our gas bill."

"Well, it wasn't me."

You should live within your means like I do, Henderson.

"You know damn well that E-on wrote to us months ago, and what did you do? Precisely nothing!"

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Neversource"

Job Safety - Hardhat.

How Many It Takes

"Read me one more, Daddy!"

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

"That's not profit that's the cost of having to turn them off."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Modular Offices

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

Electricity Bills

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."

Access Assessments

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"Well, the drought is over."

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"