Username Warrior Gifts

Internet Hell

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Soldier armed with a pen.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Second lifeReal life.

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'And in conclusion.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'Coleridge'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Information Macht Frei

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'