Twitter Warrior Gifts

"I've been blocked by a thousand people on Twitter."

"Will you please stop fighting my Twitter battles for me."

"Won't be a moment - I'm just on Twitter insulting someone who insulted me."

Women more likely to be misogynistic on twitter. . .

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Second lifeReal life.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Like.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

Meta data retention.

SOPA supporters regroup.

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

That night, Andy attempted to start a Twitter revolution.

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

Less than Ultimate Fighting.