Twitter Warrior Pillows

"Will you please stop fighting my Twitter battles for me."

"Won't be a moment - I'm just on Twitter insulting someone who insulted me."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Second lifeReal life.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Like.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"I have a right to disagree! You can't force me to use logic."

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

SOPA supporters regroup.

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

Meta data retention.

Internet security illustration.

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."