Twitter Warriors Pillows

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'Not that net!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Ornithologist

Like.

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."