Twitter Warriors Pillows

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'Not that net!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Like.

Ornithologist

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

My Fair Lady Twitter

'I'm thinking of writing a tweet.'