Social Media Warriors Gifts

"They were my friends until I raised a controversial issue on social media."

"That's enough, boys! Take it outside or online!"

"I sure do love social media -- it gives us more media to bash!"

"Those are for winning social media wars."

Lynching on social media

Ban on Free Speech

Selfie Stick

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Giraffe Selfie

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Early Learning Today

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"#notguilty."

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Social Media

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

Like.

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

A Journalist's Weapons

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"I don't mind the punishment, Mother, but I don't want to see this on YouTube!"

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."