Urban Policy Humorist Gifts

Toy Town-Now with Congestion charging. 'He'll have to pay ?8 every time he plays with it.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Traffic Lights Medicine

Lex Ave Express

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

Don't walk on the grass.

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

Beggar with a sign that reads 'Need a rare 1905 Buffalo nickel to complete my collection- thanks!'

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Chugger

'You've got to do something about your chocolate addition.'

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.