Urban Planner Humorist Gifts

Sign Reform

'Parking is always such a problem in this town.'

You ordered: trees and fields. We substituted: tower blocks & car parks

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"People don't live like that anymore."

Pedestrian parking only.

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

No Nesting

"I've found a filing cabinet here...a prime development opportunity! I reckon you could get three studio flats out of it!"

Don't walk on the grass.

Chugger

One building with a lot of doors.

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Unsocial housing.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'

Two water towers, 'HOT, COLD'.

A drive-by hooting.