Municipal Planning Humorists Gifts

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I might just get a pie."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Sign Reform

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Don't walk on the grass.

Cook complaining to milkman

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

No Nesting

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

"Actually, my political philosophy is pretty simple: 'Practice Random Gridlock and Senseless Acts of Partisanship!'"

'Every day I listen to your patients complain about the rat race. Well, my friend, I'm sick of the human race.'

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

"It's our duty to vote, but it's their duty to find someone worth voting for!"

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Chugger

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'