City Planner's Humor Gifts

Old Cheltem, Cheltem, New Cheltem, New Improved Cheltem.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Sign Reform

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

This site acquired for yet another housing development.

"People don't live like that anymore."

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Was it someone you ate?"

Don't walk on the grass.

"What what of all the dates I couldn't save, Jimmy."

No Nesting

In it for the long haul.

The citizens of Fullerton, Nebraska, celebrate the historic meeting of East and West Coast Suburban Sprawl.

'Remove this - it's libelous!'

'Lorna?! Jack?! So how long has THIS been going on?'

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 guests?'

'Got anything smaller?'

"... Till death us do part."

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Unsocial housing.

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

'Seven days' free approval or no - I tell you it's stuck!'

Pavements: Bins, Pedestrian, Vehicles.

"Of course contributing to Sally's wedding gift is strictly voluntary...naturally I'llave to list you as not contributing on the company website!"

'It's a new idea - a cell phone booth, where people can talk privately without disturbing others.'

'Hello, I'm the city tax appraiser and it has come to our attention that you have added a bird house to your yard.'

'Parking is always such a problem in this town.'

Toy Town-Now with Congestion charging. 'He'll have to pay ?8 every time he plays with it.'

Bike Week

'Do me a favor, next time you want to go golfing in the city, count me out.'

No entry

'It's perfect! A clean environment, a public transport system that really works and a downgoing unemployment rate at the same time!'

"I'm putting you on speaker - it's essential for everyone to hear our conversation."