University Mascot Lover Gifts

"Well...no wonder you're a smart ass!"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

Santa does a keg stand.

"That's our new church mascot."

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Med School Mascots.

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"Pardon my glove."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

No poking doughboy

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

Harvard Waiting List

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

"While I'm not against the concept of a corporate mascot, per se, Harmon, I feel an enormous green stag named Mega-buck is wrong for us.

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.

What Happens in the Cal-Bunker

'You don't like it? But 'Cheezy' is the perfect nickname for you!'

Condoleezza Rice.

"With its fabled architecture and lush landscaping, this is the kind of campus that you'll remember fondly as you move on to your office park cubicles."

Putney Princesses.

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