University Mascot Lover Pillows

"Well...no wonder you're a smart ass!"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

A man washing a mascot costume

Santa does a keg stand.

"That's our new church mascot."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

"Pardon my glove."

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

'It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more...' Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

"While I'm not against the concept of a corporate mascot, per se, Harmon, I feel an enormous green stag named Mega-buck is wrong for us.

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

"Are you sure her voicemail didn't say to 'bring a rose'?"

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.

Condoleezza Rice.

'You don't like it? But 'Cheezy' is the perfect nickname for you!'

"With its fabled architecture and lush landscaping, this is the kind of campus that you'll remember fondly as you move on to your office park cubicles."

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Putney Princesses.

"It's not a mascot! It's not a mascot!"