University Lover Gifts

Condoleezza Rice.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Santa does a keg stand.

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Teacher and students.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

"I need a gap year."

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"Term paper?! How do we do that? We haven't done a term paper all year!"

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

School girl taking an exam labelled OMG Level.

Student goes through home room sees his home.

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"I can't believe it's another day closer to the end of school. This is the saddest time of the year. At least until tomorrow...then that will be the saddest time of the year."

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

"Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school."

The life of a professor is great- it's either publish or PARIS!'

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'