Unique Decorator Gifts

'Glenda - why not be like other girls and stick your pin-ups on the wall?'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'The roof needs icing.'

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

Mice Cream

'Quick, press control Z!'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'