Creative Decorator Gifts

A painter has painted himself into a tight spot and is stuck.

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

"Well, it does make the room look larger."

"Peter says all these decorating programmes have given him a marvellous idea!"

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Zen Garden litter box

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"Great way to change wallpaper. I've put them on rollers."

'It also makes a great hat rack.'

En Pointe.

Tribal paint dept: 'Outdoor, indoor, WAR'

Xmas tree

Spider painting a wall by hanging on its thread

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Shelter Cat Nap

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Face Painting.

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'The roof needs icing.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'