Set Decorator Gifts

"We really need a bigger stage for the ridin' off into the sunset scene."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Fittd shēt

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Face Painting.

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'