Decorators Gifts

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'Oh good, valet parking.'

'I think we're lost! I'm out of paint!'

"I guess new carpeting was a bad idea."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Painting the Ceiling

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Non-Drip ?

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Baby squirrel & Berries

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Face Painting.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'