Union Humorist Gifts

"So what do you think we should be saying about zero hours contracts?"

'Why have you joined so many unions?'-'More chance to go on strike.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Science fiction fans on other planets

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'I wish I could fire people as well as Donald Trump.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

Undergraduate and don

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

'Here's your report card... I mean, review.'

Breakfast at Universities

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

The job interview was more thorough than roger had anticipated.

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."