Uniformity Humorist Gifts

"The creative department? Just go down here until everyone looks, sounds and dresses the same."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

Science fiction fans on other planets

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

The Dandy

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

Flight Socks.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Hipster Police Department

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

Breakfast at Universities

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."