Uniformity Humorist Gifts

"The creative department? Just go down here until everyone looks, sounds and dresses the same."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Science fiction fans on other planets

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

The Dandy

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Flight Socks.

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

Gangsta wrap.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Hipster Police Department

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

Where Pleather Comes From

Breakfast at Universities

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."