Uniform Mishap Humorist Gifts

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'This is your lucky day!'

Basketball injuries.

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

A Not So Grand Slam.

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'How was my emergency stop?'

Cotton candy

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"The creative department? Just go down here until everyone looks, sounds and dresses the same."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'It doesn't work...'

"And hold the mayo."

Dual Airbags

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

A combustion of chemists

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"Well done!"

'I took a short cut.'

'I told you to wear your hard hat.'

Please Don't Ask...