Unintentional Gardeners Gifts

None of my plants do well...but I forgot I had an onion in my refrigerator, and it's sprouting leaves and growing well.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

The Phantom Of The Garden

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"How to deal with weeds."

'There's nothing good to eat!'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'I'm out of bags.'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

How to deal with weeds

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

"It was worth a try."

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

Pyramid Garden

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

Skyscrapers.

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

HELL'S TILLERS.

Here's the plan: we ask for a pet bunny this Easter, then it eats all the broccoli in in the garden this summer.

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Clown watering houseplant.

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

Shoveling Snow in Spring

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."