Unconventional Gardener Gifts

Pyramid Garden

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Beginning Yarder.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Planting Bird Seed.

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

Snail trap

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

The British love of the Vintage Motor Car.

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Arctic Hothouse

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Football fan

'Sewer farm - 100% organic'

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little watering and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Clown watering his flowers.

Watering a plant in the rain.

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

The Golfer Gardener