Improbable Gardener Gifts

Desert Island Rake

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

Planting Bird Seed.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Football fan

Pyramid Garden

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Sewer farm - 100% organic'

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little watering and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

Watering a plant in the rain.

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

The Golfer Gardener

Skyscrapers.

Desert Island