Mischievous Gardener Gifts

"This is your third cousin Hermina. She was a bad gardener, but she always had the best tomatoes!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'Where are you going?'

Planting Bird Seed.

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

'Dan sculpted the shrubs to look like hunters to keep the deer from eating them.'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Clown watering his flowers.

Football fan

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'