Whimsical Gardener Gifts

The Phantom Of The Garden

'This is supposed to be a deluxe garden bed. I assume that means it'll include 1,000 thread count sheets.'

"Alright , Jack - if the green leafy plant you're growin' in your backyard ain't illegal, then explain why you keep callin' these 'magic' beans"

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Cat watering catnip.

Garden Center: We have plants inside the White House.

Mouse and garden magazine

Volunteer

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Clown watering houseplant.

101 uses of a dead cat: wheelbarrow

'A few over here, please.'

Skyscrapers.

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Football Fan

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Vaccinating Scarecrow

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'