Reluctant Gardener Gifts

"How to deal with weeds."

Bob tried living off the land. But the land soon got tired of Bob not pulling his weight, and kicked him out.

How to deal with weeds

"I had a great result with my garden this year. Not a thing survived."

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

'I'm out of bags.'

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

"Would it kill you to clean up after yourself?"

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"Declared Victory Garden"

Pyramid Garden

"Now, that's my kind of gardener: somebody who grows dandelions! I love dandelions..."

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 12

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

A Vegetable Plot...

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

"How can I do the garden when you can see it's raining outside?"

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

"Well, it's a plan."

A man moves to shoot the last leaf from a tree in autumn.

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 6

MONSANTO

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

"Did you forget to tell anyone to water the garden while we were away?"