Failed Gardener Sympathizer Gifts

'It's time to face it, Bernie. You just don't have a green thumb.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Paving over the window-box

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"How to deal with weeds."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'I'm out of bags.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

How to deal with weeds

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 12

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

For the new gardener.

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

Snow White.

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

Grub-skewer sandals.

'Try not to sit still for too long dear, the convulvulus is really rather virulent.'

'I thought she'd never shut up!'

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'You haven't been talking to it, you've been nagging it.'

'Gardens are nothing but trouble. Ask Adam and Eve.'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 6

MONSANTO

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'