Unintentional Comedian Pillows

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

'Will you Stop calling me!'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Am I sensing fear?"

The circus diver.

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

'There's nothing good to eat!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

Canoeing Incorrectly

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

"Maybe you just can't tell a joke."

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"It just started as a list of his faults, and just evolved into a horror novel."

"Good morning, world!"

Can You Dance?

"Morning! Are the fish biting?"

At death's door

"Can you hear me now?"