Unexpected Joker Gifts

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"See how it feels"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Adult Absence Notes.

The Cartoonists

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

Baggage Reclaim

"There are thirty four children in my class...thirty one naughty, three nice."

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"It's called 'White with a hint of Magnolia"

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

'Do you think they'll feed us something special for Christmas dinner?'

'I've never felt so alive...'

A man staying afloat on an anchor at sea.