Stand-in Joker Gifts

Stand in the Q.

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Jogging Bottoms

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

It's more than a mike!

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

A pony throws its rider.

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

False encouragement.

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

"Enough with the medical jargon! Just give it to me in English, Doc, with a Christopher Walken accent!"

The Cartoonists

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

Tred carefully mill.

'Team spirit, my ass.'

"It's called 'White with a hint of Magnolia"

Poovis: Half poodle/ Half Elvis.

Running With Scissors Marathon

His Other Shtick

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.

Twelvis

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."