Jolly Impersonators Gifts

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

Fleas Navidad.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Karaoke night.

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

It's more than a mike!

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Elf of the Month

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Maybe this year..."

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Santa entering a pool for a swim

C is for Cracker

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

Santa School.

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

"Enough with the medical jargon! Just give it to me in English, Doc, with a Christopher Walken accent!"

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

Poovis: Half poodle/ Half Elvis.

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.

'Okay, cough.'

'You have mistle-TOE.'

Parp!