Unemployment Recovery Gifts

'Thanks again, Mel, for that informative emotional breakdown.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Spa

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Danger Slow Sand.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."