Economic Crisis Recovery Gifts

'Crisis'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Our war is against cancer."

Spa

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

Post-corona road to recovery

'What's for desert?'

'You're looking well.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'