Underworld Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Ooh! It says here you ran a large financial institution.' 'I did. And for that reason alone you should extend a little professional courtesy.'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

The Frankenstein snowman.

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Tasty.

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

Love Tap

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

Internet Shoplifting

Man with Cat on his Head

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Piano Prompt

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

Mom $50 Pop $35

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

"Promise me that you'll donate my body to banana bread."

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'