Universe Humor Fan Gifts

Black Hole Corks

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Save Our Universe

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Fish finder."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'