Universe Humor Fan Pillows

Black Hole Corks

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Save Our Universe

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The Snooze Bar.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Beer Parasol.

Winter Weather.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

tRUMp, Pirate President

No, I don

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"Fish finder."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'