Universe Humorist Pillows

Trump has his finger on the button....

'Well, I don't WANT to become one with any Universe that HE'S one with!'

'Excuse me, I'm about to take a meteor shower.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Not now, Oliver."

Clown God

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

Science fiction fans on other planets

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"