Underworld Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Ooh! It says here you ran a large financial institution.' 'I did. And for that reason alone you should extend a little professional courtesy.'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Tasty.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Piano Prompt

Internet Shoplifting

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

Mom $50 Pop $35

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Love Tap

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

Man with Cat on his Head

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

"Promise me that you'll donate my body to banana bread."

Toe-Tickling Machine

Man in the cloning department is alarmed by the clones of death.