Underworld Cuisine Aficionado T-Shirts

'People soup again?'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I thought you said you wanted to spoon me!'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Octopi a la mode.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Roadkill Restaurant

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Woman finds something in her soup.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"And for your entree, sir?"

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

"I left an apple with a big, fat worm in it on the table. Have you seen it?"

Served "giant claw" style.

'Two plates of regurgitated worms?'

"Oh boy! My favorite! Squirrel cake!"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"Yep! - Your boiler's definitely on the blink..."

Kirks & Tacos

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

'What's the special?'

"A banker?! But that means you don't even HAVE a soulll. . . Damn it - for once the human wins."

"I'll have Envy for starter, Greed for Main and Lust to follow."

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'I'll try the turkey, with chestnut and penicillin stuffing.'

"No, we're not taking off soon. We're not taking off at all. This is an airplane-themed restaurant."

Wild Honey Maple Turkeys