Fan Of Unconventional Cuisine T-Shirts

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Kentucky Fried Horse

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

Executive Tacos

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Roadkill Restaurant

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

Octopi a la mode.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'People soup again?'

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Oh boy! My favorite! Squirrel cake!"

Served "giant claw" style.

'Two plates of regurgitated worms?'

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

"If I admit that I was wrong I would be admitting to myself that my whole life and everything I am and believe in is based on lies!"

'I'll try the turkey, with chestnut and penicillin stuffing.'