Unexpected Cuisine Enthusiast T-Shirts

Perhaps my French is not so good...

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Kentucky Fried Horse

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Cheese Secret

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

Executive Tacos

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

Octopi a la mode.

Roadkill Restaurant

Inappropriate garnish.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Our Troubled Chowders

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

Chernobyl Chow

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Salvador Deli

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Salad Hat

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'I don't know what I ordered, but I think it's going to be good!'

Served "giant claw" style.

“It's his first hibachi.”

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

Quark soup

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

We're sunk. Everyone's supposed to bring their Grandma's best dish to the potluck. Don't panic. Helen's Grandma was from Scotland. Yeah. But the Patakis cook Indian feasts. And the Mercantis still make 10 course Italian dinners. What was your Granny's specialty? Jell-o cube salad. Mmm ... sweet or savory?

"It's half price because we ran out of lemons and used crushed onions."