Unorthodox Dining Enthusiast T-Shirts

Executive Tacos

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Am Awful Crammer.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"You and your daft inventions."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

Saying Grace.