Unconventional Seller Gifts

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Cactus seats.

"Surprise!"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

The Hammer

"Things are looking up!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

Floss Street Vendor

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Christmas Socks

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"Have some respect for my learning style."

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

'But this IS my mobile home!'

Stun-gun target practice.

Failed mobile home designs

'John's into 'computer-hacking' in a big way!'

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"How much do you want off the top?"